March 25, 2010

Sounding Board for Life Questions

Email: soundingboard@thalerlawfirm.com

Do you have questions in your life that deal with one of the subject areas below?

The Thaler Law Firm, P.A. has partnered with various entities and individuals to provide a Sounding Board platform for people with various questions about life. This Sounding Board area does not provide any legal advice.  If you would like to discuss the answers to any of the questions, please contact a sounding board aide at this email address: soundingboard@thalerlawfirm.com.

NOTE: You will NOT be establishing a legal relationship with Thaler Law Firm, P.A. nor will you be receiving legal advice. This is a PUBLIC SERVICE. It is intended to offer ideas and thought which may be of personal help and service. This is not a mental health service. If you need professional help, please contact your physician or other mental health provider.

SUBJECT AREAS

1. Why did my _____ die? (death, suffering, loss, grief, emptiness, depression)

2. What is my greatest fear and how can I deal with it? (fear, emotions, immobility, discouragement, depression, suicidal thoughts, meditation, relaxation, worry )

3. How can I love more deeply? (spouse, child, sibling, friend, the poor, family, platonic love, romantic love, agape, erotic love, communication )

4. What are my obstacles to love? (family, arrogance, pride, self-centeredness, self absorption, emotion, emptiness, avoidance)

5. How do I improve my shyness? (emotion, cognitive therapy, self worth, self esteem, fear, introvert, extravert)

6. How can I deal with loss and grief? (emotion, cognitive therapy, sadness, ways of grieving , fear, bad, my future, brokenness, pain, suffering, healing, group therapy, medication, meditation, breathing, sharing pain with others, human touch)

7. How can I enjoy life more? (emotion, cognitive and emotive therapy, living in the now, sharing with others, people in my life, music therapy, relaxing, awareness of the presents around us, awareness of nature, animals, emotions, helping others help me, my own spiritual place, living with less, less is good, sharing, time for myself, tune to happy places-TV, radio, music, meditation, growing habits, communication)

8. Why am I so angry? (emotion, anger, hurt, pain, self control, habit, energy release, human touch, accommodation , pressure, degree of anger, rage, fury, control, sharing feelings, group therapy, individual therapy, forgiveness, displacement)

9. What kind of person am I? (introvert, extravert, personality types A B, giving personality, retentive personality, outgoing, quiet, homebody, life of the party, spiritual, moral, ethical, integrated, cautious, dependent, independent, co-dependent, thrifty, anal retentive, caring, sharing, self sufficient, open, closed, silent, talkative, boundaries, affirming, negative)

10. What in me do I want to change? (emotion, anger, sadness, fear, sorrow, shyness, hurtful, people oriented, loneliness, joy, meaning in life, my work, outgoing, self control, self defamation, self-defeating behavior, aggression, spirituality, generosity, greed, control, worry, laziness, avoidance, coveting)

11. How I can help my family grow? ( Family, love, time together, play, parenting, eating together, prayer, spirituality, emotions, church, temple, communication, sharing, boundaries, interests, finance, work, family therapy, reading, affirmations)

12. How can I improve my relationships? (family, spouse, children, neighbors, boss, people at work, friends, friendship, companion, lover, communication, sharing, the good fight, the bad fight, disagreements, trust, acquaintances, in laws, son, daughter, gay, lesbian, bisexual, sexuality, morality, ethics, alcohol, abuse, co-dependence, inter dependence, lies, honesty, mistrust, infidelity)

13. What are the causes of infidelity? Money, self control, sexuality, entertainment influences, non-thinking behavior, communications, affirmation, negativity, morals, spirituality, lust, controlling personality, retreats, marriage counseling, family workshops, workaholic)

14. How do I make a good decision? (gather information, intellectual knowledge-head, emotional feelings over a coming decision (heart) spur of the moment, weighing both sides, how important is it? Degrees of importance, sleeping on it, financial, business, personal, impulsive, the long run, impact of self and family or business?)

15. How can I get over past injuries or hurts? (anger, emotion, sadness, forgiveness, resentment, hatred, energy (wasted) brooding, victim, being a victim, revenge, forgetting, each day at a time, golden rule, morality, ethics, sharing feelings, telling your story, healing, reconciliation, penance)

16. How do I know if I should get married? Love, emotion, heard, age, marriage preparation, how do we fight? , values, common values, faith, religion, spirituality, communication, maturity, finances, jobs, children, in laws, support from friends, feed back from others, listening, body language, sexuality, sexual chemistry, romance, respect, ethics, morality, common goals, humor, trust, mistrust, infidelity, honesty, lies)

17. When do I know it‘s time to break off a relationship? (violence, pain, communication, infidelity, finances, maturity, cooperation, refusal of therapy, alcoholism, drug abuse, distrust, trust, arguments, fights, separation, abuse, sexuality, common values)

18. Why is their suffering in the world? (spirituality, God, evil, destruction, pain, death, disease, cancer, AIDS, natural disasters, When Bad things Happen to Good People, ying and yang, transformation, loss, grief, 9 gifts of suffering, war, murder, hurricanes, tsunami, earthquakes, fire, hell)

19. What is real happiness? Buddhism, spirituality, simplicity, Thomas Merton, Dugen, Nirvana, St. Frances of Assisi, treasures, possessions, Let Go, Let God, Service, Volunteer, Tithing, living in the Now, riches, poverty, people who love people, empathy, golden rule, living on 80% income, charity, compassion, sharing what you have no used in a year give it away, humor, seeking people who are content and happy)

20. What can I do to enjoy retirement more? (hobby, share, volunteer, service, simplicity, empathy, work, recreation, staying fit, swimming, working out, social interaction, visits, travel, write, endorphins, communication, eat healthy, cooking, reading, music, theatre, arts, perform, tutor, mentor)

21. How can I loosen up and not take myself so seriously? (Endorphins, humor, workout, recreation, laugh, comics, make a self log, diary, pinpoint times of intensity, exercise, submit to Higher power, God, spirituality, listen to music, watch funny sitcoms, ask others for feed back, ask others to tell you when you are intense, change the mind set, paint, write, book, reading, anger, fear, meditation, relaxation techniques, change your environment, sunset, nature)

22. How can I reduce stress in my life? (simplicity, reduce activities, annoyance, anger, fear, worry, humor, take a break, respite, change my mental state, spirituality, absorb only good things and avoid negativity in news and in people, find good friends, feedback, meditation, breathing, cognitive therapy, laugh 10x a day, treat myself, empathy, service, anxiety, sleep, exercise, time alone, find our own safe place and space, communication, share, give things away, inventory)

23. What do I do when I fail? (Try again, self acceptance, human nature, humor, laugh at self, imaging, mistakes, learn, struggle, achievement, monitor, comparison to what? Degree of failure, don’t beat yourself up, self defeating behavior)

24. How can a crisis in my life help me to really grow or become better? (emotion, change, growth, emotions, gifts, reinventing the self, self, personality, challenge belief system, no pain no gain)

25. Why do I have an addiction? (drugs, alcohol,, food, sex, shopping, compensation, self worth, self esteem, pain, hurt, therapy, intervention, counseling, minister, spirituality, AA, ten steps, buddy support, self defeating behavior, family)

26. What can I do when I know I have an addiction? (therapy, mental health professional, alcohol, drug, sex, food, shopping, self esteem, self acceptance, causes of addiction, medicating self, self defeating behavior, AA, emotions, understanding emotions, treatment)

27. I was told I have issues from my childhood that affects my behavior today and sometimes these are self-defeating. What can I do? (Family of origin, emotion, accommodation, abuse, psychological abuse, deprivation, rational cognitive therapy, early childhood development, the first 6 years, personality set)

28. Why do I seem to take out my anger most with my family? (Emotion, garbage of the day, anger, fear, frustration, pent up anger or energy, the people I love, spouse, children, emotional release, accommodation, tension, release, energy release)

29. I don’t seem to enjoy life as much as I did. Why? (Emotional blocks, workaholic, play, humor, pride, arrogance, time, habit, unlearning habits, new habits, meditation, breathing, lack of interest, meaningfulness, work, love, companionship, friendship, sharing, communication, sharing)

30. How can I help my spouse to change because of some unhealthy behavior? (Therapy, intervention, communication, therapy, compliments, medication, depression, drugs, alcohol, control issues, silence, failure to communicate, routine, rut, lack of fulfillment, workaholic, no time, vacation, respite)

31. What can I do to improve my attitude toward life and everyone? (gratitude is the attitude, meditation, play, humor. Simplicity, communication, share, thanksgiving, touch, emotion, sad, Maslow, glass half filled, cognitive therapy, Robert Ellis, isolation, time out, music, change mental state, habit)

32. How can I reconcile for things I’ve done wrong? (ethics, morals, reconciliation, penance, forgiveness, gift, apology, reparation, charity, anger, glad, write, gift, mediation, third person, honesty, abuse of power, authority)

33. Where can I find the kind of therapist I need? (psychology today, family doctor, recommendation from associates and friends, kinds of therapy, internet search, psychologist, psychiatrist, medical doctor, life coach)

34. What do I do if I believe I’m in the wrong profession or work? (Degree of satisfaction, counselor, degree of dissatisfaction, hours, workaholic, bosses, problems at work, interference with home or family, finances, compensation, self defeating behavior, education, school, scripting, diary)

35. What can I do if I think I’m in a mid life crisis? (Passages, Gail Sheehy, Seasons of a Mans’ Life, Erickson, age, interests, menopause, male menopause, the dream, accomplishments, failures, emotions, sadness, anger, bad, lack of interest, frustration, therapist, communication, medical problems, estrogen, testosterone, personality, changes, rebuilding the dream, aging)

36. I seem to have a ‘control’ issue in dealing with others. What can I do to change or modify this issue? (anger management, control management, awareness, cognitive therapy, empathy, stepping into the shoes of others, understanding whom I affect, pride, avarice, spirituality, priest, minister, Rabbi, family, spouse, violence, pain, co workers, dominance, fear, emotion, rationality,

37. Why do I fall back into the same unwanted behaviors? (Emotion, self esteem, habit, building habits, changing habits, recidivism, sin, evil, gluttony, greed, self obsession, empathy, avarice, lust, sex, alcoholism, drug abuse, gossip, confidentiality, integrity)

38. Why do I procrastinate so much and what can I do to help myself? (laziness, time, organization of time, hard projects first, easy projects after, time allotment, tasking, focus, putting things off, budgeting, friends, family, sloth)

39. What can I do to control my tongue and not hurt others? (self preoccupation, gossip, rational and emotive behavior., empathy, compassion, silence, quiet, control issue, listening, communication skills, feed back, dominance, domineering, speak no evil, see no evil, do no evil, complimenting, spirituality, minister, spiritual counseling, understanding how I injure others)

40. Why do I steal small items from work or others, or tell white lies? (emotion, compensation, greed, control issues, unjust compensation, self aggrandizement, self obsession, pride, arrogance, morality, ethics, cheating, self esteem, spirituality, evil, self protection, habit)

41. Why do so many people tell ‘white lies” (everyone does it, it works, truth, self preservation, human respect, falsehood, authenticity, euphoria)

42. Why do I feel so burnt out and what can I do about it? Fast tract lives, high stress, over stimulation, simplicity, hypnosis, stress reduction, brain, fast pace)

43. I have noticed that I may have obsessive compulsions such as gambling, drinking, porn, overeating, What are these and what can I do about it? Compulsive behavior, emotions, compensation, escape, pain, worry, sadness, therapy, information, hypnosis, habits, changing mental perspectives)

44. What can I do with feelings of suicide or self destruction? Sadness, emotion, pain, loss of meaning, tragedy, emptiness, therapy, stress, therapy, medication, depression, intervention, mental health, bipolar, agoraphobia, fear, anxiety, worry, crisis center, loss, death)

45. Sometimes I have good or bad feelings over first impressions of people I just meet. Is there any trust to these ‘first impression?” (gut, head, intellect, emotion, flight, body language, fight, caution, attraction, chemistry, See Blink)

If you would like to discuss the answers to any of the questions, please contact a sounding board aide at this email address:

soundingboard@thalerlawfirm.com

NOTE: You will NOT be establishing a legal relationship with Thaler Law Firm, P.A. nor will you be receiving legal advice.  This is a PUBLIC SERVICE.  It is intended to offer ideas and thought which may be of personal help and service.  This is not a mental health service.  If you need professional help, please contact your physician or other mental health service.

__________________________________________________________________________________

© 2007-2009 Thaler Law Firm, P.A. All rights reserved